I was reading up on 10 commandments and thought that they were a little outdated compared to modern Christian contexts, especially the fundamentalist right wingers, so I made some additions to them:
1.) I am the LORD your God…ONE: ‘You shall have no other gods before Me. Even if I kill your family and the innocents and fuck you over, give someone else your job and have your wife or husband cheat on you.
2.)You shall not make for yourself a carved image–any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Unless it is the image of me, who is also the son, nailed on a cross that will be displayed in any religious context anywhere and even can ward off vampires.
3.) You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, unless you’re really pissed off because the word of the LORD really helps in every day moral issues.
4.) Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy, unless you are offered double time on the weekends. And of course the Sabbath Day is considered to be the sixth day of the week: Saturday.
5.) Honor your father and your mother even if they are physically or psychologically abusive to you. Remember that this love should be unconditional and if they beat you to a pulp when they are drunk or in a domestic dispute its because they love you.
6.) You shall not kill anyone who worships the same white god in the sky as you do. If they don’t believe everything that you do however, feel free to kill them.
7.) You shall not commit adultery because it is vital to stay with the same person for the rest of your life until death do you part. Preferably death.
8.) You shall not steal, unless it is the land of an inferior race of people who don’t have the same beliefs as you or are simply different, then its alright.
9.) You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor provided that they also agree with everything that you say and believe.
10.) You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods because you should never buy anything and ever keep the economy of the society going.
